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Thursday, March 15, 2007, 4:49 AM

FINISHED TYPING MY COMPO OUT FOR MISS LIM!(:
shall put here for fun la.
see you all read already will cry anot.
marilyn say she want cry after reading. LOL.
then I was like, cry lor! hahaha. o_O
anw doubt you all have the PRESERVERANCE to like finish reading. HAH.

Sec Two English Common Test 1 Composition 2007 {GUILT}

I was a typical ‘gangster-like’ student, who flunked every test and exam and did not bother much about it. My parents died in a car crash when I was a baby, and my only kin left in the whole world was my grandmother, a frail-looking seventy-three-year-old woman whose left eye was blind. My grandmother brought me up all by herself, and showered me with such love and care that I ought to be happy enough. However, I was never satisfied. Each time I saw my friends with their parents, looking all blissfully contented, I became jealous. All I had was my grandmother. I felt inferior as compared to my other friends, who were wealthy and lived in posh terrace houses and condominiums; while all I had was only a rented three-room-flat with the lousiest facilities anyone could eve imagine, as my grandmother worked as a fish ball seller in the neighborhood market. Our daily income was low and we could not afford to stay in those posh houses.

I despised my life, I never told my friends about my horrid life, instead, made up fibs about me living in a big mansion with hundreds of maids attending to me, at my beck and call. I lied that my parents worked overseas and were wealthy businessmen who were busy all day long, so they did not have time to go for parents’ meetings with the teachers and all that, I made up stories and excuses about my parents disallowing me to invite my friends to my house in fear of inviting robbers in. My friends bought everything I told them without a single suspicion. As such, I was looked upon highly by my classmates for leading such a fabulous life, and I was admired by all my peers. I was living in an imaginary world of my own, a world that nobody could ever enter, only me.

I started stealing things recently. I am not sure why I did that; perhaps to satisfy my hunger for expensive things, to make up for what I had been deprived of since young, or just to show off to my peers what costly ‘treasures’ my affectionate parents supposedly got for me. I got caught once or twice, but nothing happened as I returned those items and promised not to steal ever again. My grandmother soon found out about it, and constantly nags me about my moral values, dignity and pride and all the useless things. I paid no attention to them anyway.

My studies were never good. I did not put in any effort and sat through exams and tests like a breeze, nonchantly filling in answers that meant nothing to me. As a result, my grades were horrendous, but I did not care. Studies meant nothing to me. Useless, rubbish knowledge, I thought. My grandmother was called in a few times to see the teacher and to try to get me to buck up and study, but then again, I could not care less. As such, my teachers gave up hope on me and let me do what I want in class. My grandmother could not do anything, as she was uneducated herself, and so the only thing she could do was to nag at me further, but as usual, I turned a deaf ear to what she said. Nevertheless, she never once gave up on me.
One rainy afternoon, after school, I was walking towards the school gate with my friends in tow, preparing to go out to party, as it was my birthday. To my horror, my grandmother was waiting for me there, holding an umbrella. A smile lit up on her prune-like face when she saw me, but I was too angry at the moment to bother with that. I excused myself and ran over to her, pulling her aside and spoke in low tones so that my friends would not hear me. “What are you doing here?! Go home! I’m going out with my friends!” “Today’s your birthday, Sze Neng! I waited so long for you to come out as I didn’t know what time you would be dismissed from school. Since it’s raining, I decided to come and fetch you home, fearing that you might get wet. Let’s go home together and celebrate!” she chattered on gaily in dialect. “I don’t want to! Just go, quick!” I was adamant. With that, I turned my back and went over to my friends, without bidding her goodbye.

“Who is that, Sze Neng?” one of my friends, Estelle asked, gesturing over to my grandmother. “Oh, nobody important, just an old domestic at home who takes care of the house whilst my parents are away and looks after me. After working for my parents for so many years, my parents couldn’t bear to turn her away.” I replied without a flinch, fabricating yet another lie. Unfortunately, my grandmother was still within earshot, and she must have heard every single word I said. Her face expressed a look of grief, looking so deeply hurt inside that I felt bad for a moment as I glanced at her. She walked away, and while crossing the road, an oncoming car suddenly knocked her down, after the driver failed to step on the brakes in time. Her frail, wobbly body was instantly thrown two metres away, and her umbrella was thrown out of her hand. I was dumbstruck.

“GRANDMA!” I ran over to her body without a moment’s of hesitation, calling her for the first time. Her face was all bloody and gruesome. “Finally… you…called…me…” This was all she managed, and with a last smile, she was gone.

I was devastated. It was as if the whole world came crashing onto me all of a sudden. My body was numb. I could not breathe properly. I thought about the past, how I had treated her with such indifference, and how she loved me so much instead. I was wrong, to have treated so badly before! This incident would be forever engraved in my mind, causing me to feel guilt-ridden for the rest of my life, and thus constantly reminding me to turn over a new leaf. I changed after that, and finally saw the light.

How I wish I had wizened up earlier, so that all of this would not have happened, so that my guilt would not be clung onto me forever….

Grandma, I’m sorry. I really am.

Chong Sze Neng (3)
2E3

hahaha. did you tear? o.O
actually I got this idea from the EXPRESSIONS ZHSS book.
but I modified the story.(:
ok gtg bb!